Maria Vallejo-Nagera speaks of her conversion at Medjugorje

Published on Jun 26, 2011
Maria Vallejo - Nágera was so kind to share the story of her conversion here in Medjugroje for medjugorje.net (Feb. 2007.) so I could share it with all of you. Her story is on video now, for those that want to read the story click here and for those that want to watch the video click read more.
Just when the Mass was over, our Irish priest advised us to hurry because the young visionary Jakov was going to give testimony of his extraordinary experiences with Our Lady in the huge auditorium in the back of the church. That sounded interesting, so off I went with my friends, driven by curiosity more that by faith. I remember very well that we were walking in open air, just in front of that long line of confessionary boxes that are situated outside the big Saint James Church of Medjugorje. It was a sunny, beautiful day, with some sparse white cotton clouds in the sky. I was walking in haste between my Spanish best friend and a French lady that was in our group, when out of the blue I felt this urge to look up to that beautiful spring sky. I did not see anything out of order or anything supernatural, like many pilgrims have admitted to seeing in Medjugorje. I did not see, but felt an extraordinary experience of love. In my heart what happened to me lasted 10 minutes, but in reality, only three seconds passed. Believe me when I tell you that those three seconds changed my life forever. What I felt was that an immense, indescribable love poured all over me. It was not physical, but spiritual. I went completely rigid; I stopped my walk and stared at those beautiful clouds. Time seemed to have come to a halt. Nothing moved around me: the people, the birds, the noises... Everything went quiet, still... The love that surrounded me, that filled my skin, my eyes, my clothes, my head..., was something so, so powerful that I realized I wanted to follow it to till the end. My head was soaked with a huge understanding, an incredible light, that told me with no doubt that what was pouring over me was the eternal and perfect love of Jesus. I remember that I sensed a male voice in my heart that said to me: "My child, this is how I love you. This is how I love ALL AND EACH of you." In my heart I just knew it was Jesus talking directly to me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to die! I remember that inside my brain I said to him: "Oh, my Lord..., my poor Lord Jesus! If this is the way you love us, I think it is an unfair love..." "And why do you say that, my child?" "Because it is humanly impossible to return this perfect, humongous, and eternal love. It is so unfair for you!" "My child, you cannot and you will not understand. Yes, no one realizes how much I love each and every one of you. But this Love is real, and I give it to every single human being." "OH! Please, please, take me now with you!" I said, feeling my eyes welling up with joy and fear at the same time. "I don't want to live anymore without this love!" But then everything went back to "reality." The experience was gone and there I was, completely confused, wanting to explain to every person in the world what had happened to me, how much God loves us. I wanted to run to a little corner and call my husband, who was in London completely far from me, from my wonderful experience. I wanted to die of shame, I wanted to hide from the eyes of God. I felt the sadness and the shame of realizing how ungrateful I had been all my life with God. In Spain I had become a literally a little celebrity due to my first novel, which almost won the most important literary prize. It came out 5th among 400 novels, and it sold so well. But that novel had been very hard on the Church. Actually, I was cruel and coldhearted toward the priesthood in general. I had made fun of them and I had been cruel to them with my writings. I was so ashamed. I understood what a huge mistake my first novel had been. And to make matters worse, it had been very popular in my country, where many readers had bought the book and made a bestseller of it. I was so repentant that I wanted to scream with pain. But I did not say a word then. As only three seconds had really passed my friends did not notice anything, and I was scared to death to tell them. I remember walking to Jakov´s lecture in a daze of fear, shame, happiness and confusion. Jakov's testimony was lovely, beautiful and touching, and it was then when I started to cry with long, sorrowful tears. Everyone in my group though that I was touched by Jakov´s words. If only they had known the truth! It took me six months to tell my dear Irish priest and my husband about this experience. I know very well that my conversion began that spring morning, the moment I felt in my heart for the first time and with the power of a snowstorm the immense love of God. I know it was in Medjugorje, while I walked by the confessionals outside the church.

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